About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
