I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
so much tequila, so little girl.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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