I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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