when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize