brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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