I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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