if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Terrible idea I love it
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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