What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
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