This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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