Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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