She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
