i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
