Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
