You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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