My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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