you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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