i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize