i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
