remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize