Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he puts the penis in happiness.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
