She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
