Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
