I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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