I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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