Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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