i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
