I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
