He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
