come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
