I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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