Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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