Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
