I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
