you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
