i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
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