Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

he quoted Bring It On. It's over.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.

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(678): View more from Georgia

I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.

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(207): View more from Maine

you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."

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(661): View more from California

Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.

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(214): View more from Texas

It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?

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