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just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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