she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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