i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
