Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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