I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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