are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Boobs speak an international language.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
