Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
