the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
