oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
