I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
