how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
