You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
