I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Randomize
