google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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