i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
