since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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