Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
