i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
