i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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