we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
