I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Randomize
