Don't make out with my wife yet
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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