I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
