Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
You are the jesus of drinking
I have aggressive nipples.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize