think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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