I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
