wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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