spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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