I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
