he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize