Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize