when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
