Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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