she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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