.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
you made out with another girl for some wings
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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